Wish Dear | Love | Romances articles

Historically, as a universal and eternal sensation, we presumed the concept of love and romantic love. However, there is a concrete origin and formulation of what we understand as romantic love, far from being something historical.

Love is a hard problem to define. Some many texts and journals abstractly approach this field. Theorizing about it, however, involves delving into the mental or emotional plane's connection with the entire social system. Or put another way: to understand that the characteristics and expression of love in the concrete take on meaning within historical contexts and particular social orders, far from being something individual, even if they incorporate subjective elements.

Love is not universal or ahistorical. Love is socially described by values that are connected in all its historical forms to organizations such as marriage or family and within the context of distinct manufacturing methods. We do not plan to cover all the aspects of this issue in this paper, but rather to create a first approach to the point of love concerning society.

"Humanity has undertaken the job of controlling not only intersex interactions from its initial phases of social life but also love itself. In clan culture, morality built the love determined by blood ties as the ultimate virtue. When the tribal principle prevailed, and the first embryos of the political structure were formed, the loving form of friendship between two members of the same tribe enjoyed the highest esteem. "(Proletarian love ideology, 1923). Alexandra Kollontai starts with these phrases to detail the distinct types of love that have predominated in different cultures.

We see how love was configured concerning the interests of the various organizations that control social relationships in each level of culture. Love strengthened the bond of kinship in the clan community, which was structured by blood ties. The significant thing at the moment of the tribal concept was to generate spiritual and moral connections that firmly united their members beyond kinship with the tribe or community. Love-friendship was, therefore, a great virtue. The offspring were regarded as the highest virtue in the feudal era, which was purely due to the interests of the noble family, concerning their elders.

The research by Kollontai is comprehensive and based on many examples of mythology and literature. The absence of other research in this region, however, makes deepening it very hard. In addition to the precise profiling of the lines on which the distinct concepts of love were endorsed in each community, the idea that Kollontai is trying to express is the same with which the quotation starts: "From its initial social phases.

We can say at this stage that intimacy, romance, and sexuality are not always related elements. When these three components are firmly connected, it will be under capitalism and bourgeois domination.

Marriage and sexuality started with the advent of patriarchy decades ago. The patriarchy-established dominance over women's body and sexuality produced gender inequality. “To ensure the fidelity of the woman and, consequently, the paternity of the children, she is handed over without reservation to the power of the man.” Engels expressed in The Origin of the Family Private Property and the State. It will be later, though, when love joins this equation as we know it in modern society.

The time when the bourgeoisie acquires political power and starts to expand the values of an individual-based culture is when something is deepened that has already occurred since the family emerged in society but is now highly accentuated. Plus. Something that Engels already expresses in The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State: "The family, focused on the married pair, is a room complete of emotions when the ancient community ties are broken. The passion of love as the core of the reproduction of the social system, for which certain domestication of sexuality was also essential."

The modern family takes on a significant position in society under capitalism. A portion of the essential reproduction for capitalism is practiced in the family and the political environment: the breeding and "tune-up" of the workers. This institution is reinforced by concrete and material processes such as the whole legal system (wedding contract, property and inheritance legislation), salary inequality or the burden of care that falls on females, making the family a unit "needed" for survival, but is also reinforced by subjective or emotional processes such as love.

Marriage, the regulation of the family, is based on two fundamental values to enhance the family as an organization: indissolubility and the concept of property over the other. We see that these values are praised as maximum by the ideals of romantic love and relate to achievement and happiness. Even in societies where there is more settlement of components of sexual freedom or divorce, the latter is seen as a failure and the former as a phase of life usually connected with youth. Society shows that we are all looking for our great love, that or that life partner, beyond the youth phase, deep down. A principle that denies each individual's concept of evolution, change, and psychological development throughout his or her existence.

The idea of ownership, for its part, is created through the notion of fidelity which is nothing more than the practice of purchase about sexuality and the body, but not only about the other's emotions and psychology. The concept of the emotional property also expands, invading free union, beyond legal marriage. In the broadest sense, this is genuinely monogamy.

Since the roots of this organization, monogamy has been connected with marriage and family. The family arises with an apparent social function: "Monogamy was born out of the concentration of excellent riches in the same hands-those of a person-and out of the willingness that only his kids inherit such wealth." This is how Engels explains the family's social function concerning the appearance of private property and eventually, the connection between the patriarchy and class society.

Thus, monogamy was the way to regulate the sexuality of women, avoiding legacy dispersion. However, other forms of monogamous family throughout the distinct human cultures made no reference to exclusivity or property concerning the mental or social plane, this was a constant in history since the advent of private property. However, something that happens under the domain of bourgeois morality is strongly connected with marriage, gender, and love.

In 1911, Kollontai articulated it as follows: "The Middle Ages knights even came to acknowledge their wives as having platonic worshipers and receiving the testimony of this worship of knights and menials. The idea of complete ownership, of ownership not only of the physical "I," but also of the spiritual "I" by the spouse, of the ideal that acknowledges the claim of property rights over the loved one's mental and emotional universe, is an ideal that has been entirely created and that has also been cultivated by the bourgeoisie to reinforce the foundations of the family,And that was also grown by the bourgeoisie to bolster the family's foundations, to guarantee its stability and strength during the era of battle to conquer its social dominance.

Engels will attempt to clarify the connection between love and the monogamous bourgeois family: "By transforming everything into goods, capitalist manufacturing demolished all the traditional ties of the past and substituted hereditary customs and historical rights with sales with the' free' agreement. Under capitalism, we are moving from a hereditary order of things to a freely agreed one. "And Engels will proceed:' It is necessary to employ individuals who can freely dispose of their individuals, actions, and property and who enjoy the same privileges. Precisely one of the primary duties of capitalist manufacturing was to create these' free' and' equal' individuals."Thus the marriage contract was officially voluntary in the new capitalist society, it should begin with the parties ' liberty of decision, and that will was expressed in reciprocal love. For Engels, "marriage for love has been proclaimed as a human right." It is not uncommon that at the time of the marriage formalization, the verbalization of the interested parties' will acquire great prominence through the "yes I want," and the seal of the contract is a kiss.

There is also another concept in the family equation that makes the component of love tremendously accessory. A fresh idea that Engels has created. It follows from his quotation(*) that romantic love under capitalism gains so much strength and expands to all social classes as a whole. It is also assumed by the proletariat as a whole, prepared by the bourgeois ideology to preserve its privileges, exalted by the doctrine imparted by the State, the Church and the media. The ruling class ' thoughts become the dominant ideas in a community, and the traditional forms of love are not alien to this equation.

There is the other aspect: the absence of security in modern culture suffered by most individuals, their isolation and confrontation with the surroundings. If we see how the destitute individual, the one who is part of the working class and the poorest sectors of society, faces the world, we will see their search for connections with others as "natural." The quest for love and shelter in the family becomes a question of survival in the face of the voracity of capitalism. But the bourgeois principles of ownership and indissolubility invade and disturb that "natural" desire for emotional bonding.

Wong Kar-Wai, director of Hong Kong, produced one of the most exuberant, sensual and devastating movies on the film scene in the last centuries. Wishing to love (In The Mood for Love), whose real title in Cantonese Fa Yeung nin wa means more or less "The freshness of flowers is preserved over time." A love story about love itself and how it remains in the minds of those it submits for much longer than any other feeling.

1962 Chow Mo-wan (Tony Leung) and Su Li-Zhen (Maggie Cheung) move to the same day's rental room house and become neighbors in Hong Kong. Both have late-working spouses who leave them alone for lengthy periods. Since the two are generally without business, in the halls, and on the roads, Chow and Su inevitably cross each other. The two have the certainty in their mind that they're respective. Chow and Su enter into a connection that is platonic, subtle, touching, and painful. They try to know how they met and joined their spouses, examining how, for their infidelity, they will face them. Finally, without any remedy, they discover themselves developing each other's emotions, desiring each other.

A generous unwanted tale of love in which longing and sweetness are confronted by the adultery that has tainted their life.

Wong Kar-Wai faces the lovers to maintain the moral attitude that each thinks the other has adopted. The posture leading to silence and the most intimate and painful secret. "If someone had a secret that he didn't want to share in the past, he climbed a mountain, searched for a tree, created a hole in it, whispered the secret in the hole, then covered it with mud and left the secret there forever."

In a crowded town with little room for secrets, risking everything to achieve a dream? The infinite punishment of treason, of loss. In a time when everything must be hidden, the grief for the lost opportunities. Anguish before the inclement memory, before the passage of time's ferocity. Loneliness. The hell of feeling unable to conquer the "maybe" hesitant and pitiful.

Elevates Desiring's director and screenwriter to love a profound reflection on human experience, emotion, and the underlying and moving consideration of essential elements of life, love, desire. Anxiety for each other, anxiety for themselves. A key lament, that of lack, no matter how near you are to the item you need, desired, creating-allow me-one of cinema's most lovely love tales.

Portrayed by Christopher Doyle, his usual director of photography, Wong Kar-Wai's camera gently moves to his characters, their looks, their hands, their backs, in no hurry, recreating. The camera moves from side to side as if it were a slow waltz, soaking the screen of colors and light, highlighting the closeness and at the same moment the remoteness of its characters, the angles that step on and imprison them. Wong Kar-while leaves the adulterous couple off the screen, we don't know their face, always standing before the two protagonists, smartly emphasizing that they're just the focus of attention, those who are almost always forgotten in other hands as victims of history "We'll never be like them."

Planning and accurate images that demonstrate the beauty of the time through slow movement. That which is concealed in the hallways, between the alleys or in the rain next to the gates. As a spy that scrutinizes some characters ' real feelings, alone, in minimal spaces, so much so that they can not be shown in their entirety and that describes them as distinctive in a paradoxically tumultuous and overcrowded town.

Like photography, Kar-Wai utilizes music with excellent outcomes; Yumeji's unforgettable theme, consisting of Umebayashi Shigeru and his outstanding cello, will inevitably become component of our sound memories as time goes on, just like the impeccable songs of the master Nat King Cole singing in Spanish, used as fingers pointing emotions.

You should definitely place this visual poem, touching, smart, elegant, lovely, in your life, at least once, Wishing to love, and check for yourself how a film becomes an artwork. I wish you the pleasure of it.

Intelligently and thoroughly loving is the result of a deliberate act, a purpose that demands excellence and at the same time, demands it. We will derive in the most absolute frustration if we limit ourselves to being carried away, to act passively, to wait for the other to say, the other to do, the other to guess and correspond to me. This is what Erich Fromm, the social psychologist, psychoanalyst, and German philosopher, taught us in his book "The art of love," and these are a sequence of sentences that sum up this exceptional job that is always worth returning to.

The art of love» is not a distinct work within Erich Fromm's vast and exciting intellectual heritage. In fact, it is a continuation of another novel, "Fear of Liberty." He had already discussed multiple elements of human nature in the latter and therefore felt the need to deepen that fundamental and essential dimension for individuals, such as love.

Therefore, if there is something I was looking for above all else, it was to educate us that love is an art and that as such it requires an exquisite mastery of both theory and practice, because, and this is essential to remember, love is the only solution to our life is the one who provides significance to us, who also includes importance to our community.

Let's see below what Erich Fromm's sentences sum up these thoughts best.

If the book "The art of love" contains an interesting aspect, it is the thesis that most of us don't understand how to love. It may be a somewhat grim concept, but remembering the social context Fromm lived in is also lovely. There was a vast emptiness of values after the end of the Second World War, an existential crisis that forced many thinkers, philosophers, and psychologists to reformulate many ideas.

Therefore, love was and is the engine that should push us to be better. We are forced to work actively in our character and personal growth for this so that we can fulfill our self-love first and then love the other completely. This needs real humility, bravery, faith, and discipline.

We noted at the start. Being in love is not supposed to be a passive act, like someone who gets carried away without doing anything else. On the contrary, it is an act in which there is a lot of motion, will, and exchange in its pleasure.

This is another of Erich Fromm's most representative sentences, and we are encouraged to leave aside the cloud in which we are installed to reinforce that connection, to invest effort, to work hand in hand on the same project and to be the daily creators of our own relationship.

The concept of child love is: "I love it because they love me." At the start, mature love obeys: "I love them because I love them." Immature love says: I love you because I need them. Mature love states, "For I love you, I need you."

One of the sentences of Erich Fromm which is not restricted to the area of affective interactions alone. It has a lot to do with how individuals relate to culture itself: they do it more out of necessity or feeling of a want than out of altruism than out of genuine love for their colleagues.

For Fromm, this type of love, depending on need, is pathological. It means not attending to us or understanding each other, it means waiting for others to take responsibility for what we can't accomplish, and it's actually in our region of responsibility.

"The first step is to realize that love is an art, just as life is an art ; if we want to learn to love, we have to continue in the same manner that we have to continue if we want to know any other art, such as music, painting, carpentry or medical or engineering arts"

This is one of the most lovely sentences of Erich Fromm. It informs us about intimacy, the miracle that generally starts with appeal and ends with a more in-depth meeting that transcends the skin itself and sexuality. We're talking about the emotional attachment, discovering the other as an individual in all his nuances, his virtues, his faults, his essences.

We're talking about the intimacy in which slip trusts, the touch that bristles the skin's hair, or a relaxed and nostalgic conversation called stars that sneaks through those holes in the sky.

"He that loveth not hath not known God; for love is God." 1 John 4:8.

It's simple to think of pleasant emotions when we think of love. But true love is not dependent on feelings. It's about something much more than what I feel for somebody, a romantic love, a family member, a friend, a colleague. Attachment is often provided and received to receive in exchange something. But what do I do to love someone when it costs me something? What's the love saying in the Bible?

"Love is suffered, it is good; love has no envy, love doesn't boast, it doesn't blow up; it doesn't do anything wrong, it doesn't seek its own, it doesn't get irritating, it doesn't grudge; it doesn't appreciate injustice, but it loves the reality. Everything suffers, everything believes, wants everything, promotes everything.

But what is love then? This is love when I do all the things without giving importance to my feelings or regardless of other people's actions. Sometimes when I'm tempted to anger, to impatience, to seek my own good, to think someone's worst, to give up something, I don't feel like I can love. But I have long-suffering when I deny these emotions and rejoice, I humble myself, carry the burdens of others, I endure all stuff-and manifest real love. Love provides its existence— the natural responses and requests that are part of human nature— and in exchange, expects nothing.

"No one has more love than this, to lay down one's life for his friends." John 15:13.

"This is love, not because we loved God, but because he loved us, and sent his Son to make atonement for our sins." 1 John4:10. If someone loves me, it's adorable, and I love him back. It's easy. But this isn't a love test. Before we loved him, God loved us, and we did nothing to deserve that love. What if somebody mistreated me? Where then is my passion? Love is giving, not just to those who are great for us. Love your enemies first; love first, and if love is not reciprocal, it will not vanish. It's all supported.

"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who use you spitefully and persecute you, that you may be the children of your Father who is in heaven, who causes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, who rains on the just and on the unjust." Matthew 5:44-45.

"If any man shall say, I love God, and hate his brother, he is a murderer: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? and from him have we this commandment: he that loveth God, loveth his son also." 1 John 4:20-21.

Our love of God is no higher than our love of fellow human beings. Depending on conditions, the love of God does not alter. It's rooted firmly.

We tend to want others to change as human beings. We feel that loving someone as he is is hard, and we prefer being distinct. This is evidence that we are more worried about our own happiness and convenience than with love for others; we are looking for our own good.

The reality is that we must discover our own sin and purify it instead of waiting for others to alter. Self-interest, the' know-it-all' attitude, arrogance, stubbornness, etc. Sins I find when I am with others. If we purify ourselves of all these things, we can carry the load, we can believe we can wait and wear all for others. We love them as they are, and with a sincere love for God, we can pray for them and take care of them.

All the individuals with whom I am should feel an appeal and a desire through me to approach Christ. Love attracts people and brings them together. Compassion, the kindness of heart, patience, compassion. How can someone feel appeal and attitude if I have an impatience, arrogance, insolence, hatred, etc. experience with me?

If I feel that I lack God's true love, I can pray to God and ask Him to show me how I can get more. But I must be ready to give up my own will and think before me first of all about the others.

"These three now remain faith, hope, and love; but their greatest is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13.